Slow down.

I’m busy. I’m always busy. Lately my mind has been busy too. Usually this isn’t the case for me. I’m never one to lay awake at night with my mind wandering  (which is a blessing)  but at the same time I’m never one to take the time to really stop and reflect. I think that often times worriers reflect and reflectors worry. My usual mind set is to live in the moment. Things happen and things get done and I just keep chugging along. Maybe its motherhood and pregnancy hormones…okay, I can almost guarantee that’s what it is…but lately I’m just feeling….busy. I’m longing for an idealistic day where we all wake slowly and savor every minor detail of the day, where we lock eyes often and eat slowly in the sun. But if I’m honest, those moments are rare. And even on weekends when we have slow dreamy sun filled days, there are still moments of rushing and busy work. There are moments when toddlers whine as I rush to make lunch. There are loads of laundry to be done. And things to put away or do before I forget, because with pregnancy brain, I am sure to forget. And most days are full of routine and rushing out the door on time for daycare/work.

But I’m trying to find the small moments here and there that I can momentarily pause. Short moments to savor. Moments spent alone with Oliver, because soon they will be rare, as his only child days are numbered. I’ve taken to keeping the radio off in the car until after I drop Oliver off at daycare. So that I can spend the 10-15 minute drive listening to him practicing his words and engaging him in conversation. Finding moments to stop and savor the feeling of baby turns and kicks inside my belly. Because who knows if my belly will ever hold tiny baby turns and kicks again. To acknowledge the blessing of having tiny baby clothes to wash and fold and organize. To bump my pregnant belly against my husbands for a quick hug and laugh in the kitchen while we think about how cool it is that our son can play alone in his room while we sneak a quick kiss in the kitchen. And today I’ve decided to take a little moment for myself, to go home to a quiet empty house for lunch and try to do a little nesting/organizing. Not only taking a rare little moment of quiet time but knowing that in doing so I can slow down and focus on family when I come home from work tonight.